Why Are People Shy

Back in the days before the computer and Internet revolution in Africa; during the age of tradition, lived I and my cousin Ude in the suburbs of Lagos. Ude had come to live with us from Ajegunle, a neighbouring city in lagos because his parents wanted him to have a better education. Ajegunle was known to be a ghetto city and the majority of people living in the city were people of the lower class which also affected the educational system in the area.

I remember the charming slim figure, dark in complexion, envied by my male friends and loved by girls. This guy was every girls' dating mate but he had one flaw, he was SHY!!!. He was so shy that when he was talking to a girl, you could see cold sweat all over him even when the area was cooled by the Air conditioner. Even among the guys, you would never see him make any comment , he was just too quiet.

No one understood why he was shy but i knew because i was close to him and i had seen some of the things he had to go through at home.

Before he came to live with us, he was never allowed to socialise with people. At one time, his dad was angry with him when he discovered he had brought a friend to the house and reprimanded him for such action. Furthermore, his dad would always compare him to his younger brother. As far as the dad was concerned, he was no better in terms of intellectual capacity than his brother. His mum could not really help the situation as tradition demanded that the wife be subject to her husband; so she would console Ude privately and encourage him.

Such negative influence and experiences with his father who was ignorant, crippled Ude's self esteem so much that it made him shy and weak in character. Fortunately he came into our lives and we all had to work together to make him confident. We all did our best but his big break came that transformed his life forever.

The Big Break

It all started when Ude was giving a role in the Teen's ministry. We loved attending church as teens; the service were always very exciting and we always looked forward to every service. Also, during the week, no teen could ever miss a program in the teen's ministry as such department was created to allow teenagers develop leadership skills and talents which would be used for the kingdom of God. The services were usually runned by the teens and supervised by counselors.Oh!, it was a wonderful experience and it was during this time that Ude was given the role to preach during the week,

Ude was so frightened about the task that when he got home he told my mum and dad about it and his intention to reject such request. My parents encouraged him and instead of acknowledging his weakness, they assisted him in preparing his message. My dad taught him the tricks of public speaking and my mum together with me, would pretend we were the audience while Ude would preach his sermon to us. Ude prepared day and night but he also could not sleep well and would sometimes have nightmares because he was still afraid.

However, the D-day came and it was time to preach to the teens. Ude staggered to the pulpit and i could see uneasiness written all over him. He looked at the audience and then at his Jotter. I became uneasy too as i felt he could not do it, then to my relieve, he began his speech slowly without confidence and then just as if he was possessed , began to talk with more confidence than was expected. So great was his sermon for that day, that many counselors beleived that he had been preaching before.

That day was a turning point in his life. His lifestyle changed completely. He began to have more friends and could talk to girls easily. He started representing his school in debate competitions in which he won most. He was given so many awards and his dad had no choice but to be proud of him.Today, he is Journalist and he is succesful in his career.

How to Overcome Shyness

1. Don't ever be moved by what people say about you. Forge your path to your destiny

2. Never be afraid to make a mistake. For mistakes are not meant to pull you down but to teach you the right steps to take.

3. Remember that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a step. So in order to overcome shyness, you must take the step to boost your self confidence.

4. Learn to Improve yourself everyday