Christian Relationship: Dating a Non-Christian

“He is so sweet; He loves me, respects me and treats me like a queen” Jane said to me. “I love him so much but the problem is, he is not a Christian; what should I do? Should I continue dating him?” Jane is not the only one facing this problem alone. The debate on dating a non-christian has been on for a while.

While some Christians support it with the basis that such union can cause the non-christian partner to become a Christian, others are against it due to the teachings of Paul in 2 Corinthians 6:14 where he cautions believers not to have an unequal partnership with unbelievers. There is a truth in the argument of both parties but there are also flaws.

First and foremost, you can never predict human behavior; only God knows the intention of man. It’s risky to delve into marriage with that belief and most people have had bad experiences, trying to change the behavior of their partners to conform to Christian philosophy. However, considering the latter argument, when we look at Paul’s teaching, we discover that the statement is based on a larger discourse to the church of Corinth on Christian life and not on marriage specifically.

Bearing these arguments in mind, the reason why such topic is controversial is narrowed to two reasons;

1. The concept of Love is misunderstood.

Love is a powerful emotion which motivates much of our lives. And many of us make decisions based on this emotion. Most people believe that marriage should be based on love which I quite agree. The problem is that most people marry because the feel they are” in love”, which ends in struggle and then divorce.

The true meaning of love is defined in 1 Corinthians 13 and what people don’t understand about love is that we are not just to love those who love us but to love the unlovable. In effect, what I’m saying is that love is more of a responsibility than a feeling. It is unfortunate that many marriages today are suffering because couples demand too much from each other instead of working towards pleasing one another.

2. Christians don’t understand the responsibilities of Marriage

Many Christians understand the principles of faith, healing and prosperity but are lost to the responsibilities of marriage. This is because many biblical principles of marriage have been distorted with social and constitutional laws.

The emphasizes should not be about whether a Christian should marry a non-Christian or not because even christians couples who do not have character and are not spiritually matured are prone to problems in marriage but rather, before there is a relationship or engagement, both parties should consider these factors. (Qestions to Ask ).

If you notice in John Piper post on questions to ask before marriage, the first thing to consider is Theology This area will enable you to understand the belief system of your partner. This factor is very important as it affects other factors. It is so important that it's the reason why dating a non-christian is difficult. If you discover that both of you have different views of life, it would be better to stop the rellationship.

Two people cannot work together unless they agree so anwsering these questions will make them understand their standpiont on their relatiionship.